Girlfriend Hunters

It's a Friday night and I'm getting my naked on. I'm dancing for dollars and this guy really seems to be digging it. He even offers to buy me a drink. I decline the drink because I'm one of those sober dancers but chit chat for a bit hoping to interest him in a dance or two (or 10). We chat, we laugh, I'm witty and he's charmed and then uh oh I'm at the point of no return and guy is now asking me if I want to meet up sometime.

(insert screeching breaks here)

Dammit charm!

Really? Did you just ask me out...
In a strip club,
where you've already seen me naked?
And paid dollars to do so?
What's that mean for our "friendship" or relationship or sex sesh?

Do you come to these places to find your next girlfriend or even next lay? I'm not going to go into the fact that you're wasting my time yet, I'm going to more ask questions of WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?

Let's say I said Yes (I won't)... congrats, you just got a dancer to say yes to going out with you. How many other guys has she already said yes to tonight? Why is she saying yes? Is she after your wallet? Do you really think this girl is going to like you outside of the club?

Answer: doubtful.

Dudes, please, if you really like us, compliment us and come back. We'll find a way to get you our number if we really want you to have it. It doesn't happen often at all but if we REALLY want it and aren't just working you, we'll figure it out. And if we do get our number to you, or you give us yours and all we text you about is coming into the club... yeah, we just want your money.

Now, onto the "you're wasting my time" portion. I'm at the club, dancing, for dollars, as you've seen and your wallet has experience and you are wasting my valuable talk time when you aren't even going to get a dance? One measly dance! I had one guy get a dance and then ask. You know what, points for him! At least he wasn't wasting my time. He comes in from time to time and we still chat, great guy, just not going to date anyone I meet at work.

Moral of the story, if you're going to ask me to stay the night with you, sleep with you, go on a date with you, get coffee with you (because ohhh that's not a date, it's just a friend thing... psh please), smoke something with you, marry you, go shopping with you, at the very least get a dance or two. Pretend like you have some money in that wallet. Otherwise... bye. I didn't mind our conversation but time really is money in the club and honey, your time is out!

-D

A Short Introduction

I have been mulling over this idea for a while now... should I or should I not share my experiences as a entertainer/stripper/dancer with the world, or even just a small few who happen to stumble here. At last, while conversing with a friend tonight before donning my lucite heals I decided the time had come, there were too many stories in such a short time and hopefully so many more to be had in the coming months. I had to share.

This is for those who have been to a gentleman's club, this is for those who haven't been to a gentleman's club, this is for those who don't know the etiquette in a gentleman's club. Basically, this is for anyone that likes to read about the weird things that people do.

Me? Well, I guess you might say I fancy myself a Diablo Cody. I don't. I'm just me, sharing a similar but not entirely same experience. As of this current moment I do not have a office job or other "real person" job. I am sustaining myself on lap dances and lust. It's not an easy living, but someone's got to do it. Or maybe we don't... but we do, because we can. I don't hate it, I'm not one of those who takes anything and everything to forget where she is. I'm completely sober when I work, the only addiction I can claim is to diet coke, bread and candy.

Before I spill too much about things that aren't pertinent I'll sign off. Look forward to the stories I have to share, believe me they are strange and funny at the same time.

-D