I'm going to start this out by saying tonight was a good night. I'm then going into my rant about this one busted chick that stepped on some toes (mine, metaphorically speaking) and somehow got away without any harm.
Back story on this girl I know dub Tragedy. First night I worked with her she came in late, her stomach is all fucked, maybe from a baby she no longer has or she use to be over weight and lost the fat but kept the skin, I think it's baby but she definitely doesn't have the kid now so who knows. That night she got drunk (not unusual) and at the end of the night I went to give a customer a last dance and I see her face down on a guy's lap. Surprisingly it's not what you are thinking. He face was by his knees and he was just sitting there smiling at me when I would look over to see if she was moving. She passed out on this guy's lap. I wish I was joking.
Second night she comes in an hour late. By this point I'm wondering how she still gets to work. This new set of clubs I am at has been rumored to be very strict about being on time. Maybe she was charged $100 and it was counted as a first offense, I am not sure. Point is, she came in an hour late (maybe 30 minutes but it felt like I had been there for quite some time) and looked incredibly haggard and like she had been crying. I went into mom mode (weakness) and asked her what was wrong. I immediately (before she even opened her mouth to tell me) regretted it. These two clubs, while a tad more strict do see a lot of sad, wrecked, tragic cases come through and sometimes I forget that. So she mumbles about having a shitty boyfriend and why does she keep someone around that treats her like shit and lalala he stole all her money blah blah blah. Great, that's what I wanted to hear. Another sob story. Another bad egg that makes the rest of us seem like we have daddy issues or shitty boyfriends or drug problems. I know that there are a good few of us who do, but there are also a good few not strippers that also have those problems. I am free and clear of all said issues thank you very much and I don't appreciate these cliché cases making it harder to convince people I'm not a fucking psycho.
Through the second night she is late to her stages, gets fucked up and just annoys me but I don't have to pay too much attention because on that night we were at the larger club and so there was more space to forget.
Third night, tonight. I get to work 10 minutes before my scheduled time thinking I am a burden on others because I am not ready early. I ask the DJ how many girls we are suppose to have on this fine night and he tells me 5 + one that stays until 12, but at the moment we are at 3 + said extra girl. Awesome. I look at him and ask, "Is Tragedy one of those girls?" Again, her name isn't Tragedy though it may as well be, but I've changed it for her stupid safety. He almost seems surprised when I guess right and inform him not to hold his breath because she's always late. He says she might be fired if she doesn't show up before 15 after. I do a stage set, make a friend I think, go in the back and see that Tragedy (and the other girl) finally made it. She hadn't walked in by the 15 mark so I was wondering what was going to come next. Other late girl got off with a warning, then the DJ attempted to send Tragedy home. The water started pouring down the craters in her face. Somehow, by a miracle that only befalls the pathetic, boss man (not DJ, boss man on the phone) decides she can stay. She cries about not having money to stay in her hotel that night and blah blah blah not my or the club's problem, what about the money you made the other night and/or the money your boyfriend stole from you, not to mention, once again, not my problem.
I leave the dressing room at this point devoid of empathy or even pity. The night goes on and as she is the one following me she manages to get to her stage late every. single. time. Look bitch, as if you being horrendous isn't bad enough, please get your ass in gear and make it to your stage on time. I shouldn't have to babysit the customers for you crater face.
The night goes on some more and we are getting to the last 4 songs that are strictly for lap dances. I'm talking to this guy that has been getting dances from me all night and Pathetic Tragedy (now she has two names) comes over (while I'm sitting with him) whispers in his ear and pulls him away. WHAT BITCH?! I wish I could say at this point that I
a) looked at her and said, "Back off bitch. It's not my problem that you need this lap dance money for your boyfriend's almost certain heroin problem or even your own. I don't give a fuck about how much it cost to stick a needle in your arm or stay at the shittiest hotel in town, step the fuck off or your boyfriend is not the only one that is going to be beating you tonight."
b) walked into the back during their second dance to tell her it was my turn just like he told me to do as he was walking away. Not for his satisfaction, mind you, but for mine.
Instead I glared viciously, lamented to my favorite bouncer/cook with some very choice words and then walked by the doorway of the dance room once and decided it wasn't worth it and went to the back to change into my home clothes.
I was very, very tempted to say some rude comment later, or tell her it was not alright to pull what she did but I legitimately love where I work right now and don't need a reason to be fired. Especially on someone as wrecked as she. Truth be told, he antics will have her gone with or without me and while I would have loved to add another $40 to my money tonight (or any night) I was not about to get on her level OR play into a chick fighting chick fantasy. Sorry dude, you're dick isn't that worth it to me. I will play into a dumb girl fantasy, a bi girl fantasy, a nerdy girl or even a party girl fantasy (the last one is a tad harder to pull off but not completely) but I will NOT compete with another girl for your attention or money, at least not that you know of. I'm fucking awesome, I give a stellar dance and I look a million times better than she does bouncing naked on your lap or grinding my ass against your clothed dick. Truth. Just about anyone in that club would agree with me. Those who wouldn't are legitimately blind.
Phew. I think I feel better now. I still want to smash that ugly face in but I'm going to wait it out. If she works again she's going to have some issues.
<3
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Per Request: Why I do it...
It has been brought to my attention that I do complain a lot here, (and sometimes elsewhere) and I guess I should explain myself a bit.
I started this blog to tell crazy tales that actually happen where I work. Sometimes these things hit me in a negative way and sometimes they are positive. I feel like I'm a lot like The Angry Stripper in that some of the things customers say and do just blow my mind. So I post them. My twitter is usually a lot of shit talking as well. Sometimes it's what a girl needs to get through the bs that comes with the job.
If there is so much bs (and there is) why do you do it?
Well, there are several reasons. One, while I am not happy with what I am earning it is usually more than I can make in an entry position that I would be hired for. I have my BA and still my possible income starting out is going to be low. I would have to struggle a lot in a job I didn't like sitting at a desk feeling like poop a majority of the time.
I have yet to decide what I want to be doing that would justify a desk job. In my current industry I pick my hours, pick how many days I want to work and have the potential to make decent cash in little time. Unfortunately that is not what is happening to me at this moment. I am picking my own schedule, I do get to enjoy the days, but I am not making nearly as much as I would like to (and believe me my bar is low for typical strippers).
So why do you do it?
The potential has me coming back for more. I feel like I'm working out my kinks (no pun intended) as a performer and personal entertainer (because seriously that's what we do, we personally entertain a custie and that is what makes us money). My stage show is getting better and better, I am learning more tricks, I am listening more than talking and I'm not going to lie, my lap dance is better than ever.
I am starting to really pay attention to what people want instead of trying to force what I want on them or expecting a grand before I even finish cleaning the pole. (always clean the pole btw)
I have a couple more venues to try, a little more work to do, a little more money to save and a couple more decisions to make.
Not to mention, while some custies are douche bags, there are a good few that are really fun to talk to and have great stories. I'm a people person, I love a good personal story.
I hope that helps anyone who I have confused.
Ask more questions!!!
xo
I started this blog to tell crazy tales that actually happen where I work. Sometimes these things hit me in a negative way and sometimes they are positive. I feel like I'm a lot like The Angry Stripper in that some of the things customers say and do just blow my mind. So I post them. My twitter is usually a lot of shit talking as well. Sometimes it's what a girl needs to get through the bs that comes with the job.
If there is so much bs (and there is) why do you do it?
Well, there are several reasons. One, while I am not happy with what I am earning it is usually more than I can make in an entry position that I would be hired for. I have my BA and still my possible income starting out is going to be low. I would have to struggle a lot in a job I didn't like sitting at a desk feeling like poop a majority of the time.
I have yet to decide what I want to be doing that would justify a desk job. In my current industry I pick my hours, pick how many days I want to work and have the potential to make decent cash in little time. Unfortunately that is not what is happening to me at this moment. I am picking my own schedule, I do get to enjoy the days, but I am not making nearly as much as I would like to (and believe me my bar is low for typical strippers).
So why do you do it?
The potential has me coming back for more. I feel like I'm working out my kinks (no pun intended) as a performer and personal entertainer (because seriously that's what we do, we personally entertain a custie and that is what makes us money). My stage show is getting better and better, I am learning more tricks, I am listening more than talking and I'm not going to lie, my lap dance is better than ever.
I am starting to really pay attention to what people want instead of trying to force what I want on them or expecting a grand before I even finish cleaning the pole. (always clean the pole btw)
I have a couple more venues to try, a little more work to do, a little more money to save and a couple more decisions to make.
Not to mention, while some custies are douche bags, there are a good few that are really fun to talk to and have great stories. I'm a people person, I love a good personal story.
I hope that helps anyone who I have confused.
Ask more questions!!!
xo
Sunday, June 19, 2011
thoughts on tipping
For once I am not talking about the custies on the rack. I can go on and on about things custies could do better when tipping but that's old news. This is for the ladies, the ladies of the pole. Yes, my fellow strippers.
I generally make friend with bartenders, bouncers, djs and managers because I genuinely like people and if I'm going to be seeing you often, we may as well have each other's backs... right? Right. In doing so I get to hear about some of the complaints. The biggest complaint I hear across the board is how some dancers just don't know how to tip.
Really?
Ladies?
I mean, you work your ass off for tips, and I know some of the others are getting paid hourly but still.
My motto is, if I talked to the person and they've been nice to me/helped me with something, even if it's just opening a door, then I am going to tip them something by the end of the night.
Each drink I order (even if it is water or diet coke, which is the majority of the time) I generally tip $2. (I do this at Starbucks too which always throws them for a loop.) If there is a minimum tip out and I've made decent (and I mean low end of decent) I'll add a couple extra dollars.
My dinner was $4.50? Tip the cook $2-3 and tip the bartender/whoever took my order at least $1.
Is this ridiculous?
I think it's fair. These people are all helping you out. Bouncers keep you safe and usually have some pretty funny stories, bartenders serve the custies drinks all night and the more sloshed the looser their wallets get, cooks make food that fuels you through the night, and if you tip them they are more likely to make special changes for you....
What I am trying to say is, ladies, first and foremost tip the people you come in contact with helping you or your customer.
Another issue of tipping...
Sometimes on day shifts or even on night shifts a girl will come running to the back frantically asking if someone will cover their stage. I get it, you're getting dances in the back and are going to almost guarantee more money than if you went on stage for two songs and the guy lost interest. Soooo, if you are going to be making that money and the girl who covers you is not, or even if she is, I think the best, most courteous thing to do would be tip her. Yup, give her a $5 (or a drink) to say thanks for covering. At the least you still made $15 bucks and if you judged right with that customer you made a hell of a lot more and $5 won't break your bank.
Why does it matter? Take care of people and they will take care of you. Be a little more free with your money and you will likely get stronger drinks, more help getting guys to buy you drinks, better food, more girls wanting to help you out, bouncers really looking out for you and djs really willing to play the songs you dance well to.
I'm a firm believer in what goes around comes around, and so I tip generously any time I can.
I swear next post I'll have a funny story or something.
$$$
I generally make friend with bartenders, bouncers, djs and managers because I genuinely like people and if I'm going to be seeing you often, we may as well have each other's backs... right? Right. In doing so I get to hear about some of the complaints. The biggest complaint I hear across the board is how some dancers just don't know how to tip.
Really?
Ladies?
I mean, you work your ass off for tips, and I know some of the others are getting paid hourly but still.
My motto is, if I talked to the person and they've been nice to me/helped me with something, even if it's just opening a door, then I am going to tip them something by the end of the night.
Each drink I order (even if it is water or diet coke, which is the majority of the time) I generally tip $2. (I do this at Starbucks too which always throws them for a loop.) If there is a minimum tip out and I've made decent (and I mean low end of decent) I'll add a couple extra dollars.
My dinner was $4.50? Tip the cook $2-3 and tip the bartender/whoever took my order at least $1.
Is this ridiculous?
I think it's fair. These people are all helping you out. Bouncers keep you safe and usually have some pretty funny stories, bartenders serve the custies drinks all night and the more sloshed the looser their wallets get, cooks make food that fuels you through the night, and if you tip them they are more likely to make special changes for you....
What I am trying to say is, ladies, first and foremost tip the people you come in contact with helping you or your customer.
Another issue of tipping...
Sometimes on day shifts or even on night shifts a girl will come running to the back frantically asking if someone will cover their stage. I get it, you're getting dances in the back and are going to almost guarantee more money than if you went on stage for two songs and the guy lost interest. Soooo, if you are going to be making that money and the girl who covers you is not, or even if she is, I think the best, most courteous thing to do would be tip her. Yup, give her a $5 (or a drink) to say thanks for covering. At the least you still made $15 bucks and if you judged right with that customer you made a hell of a lot more and $5 won't break your bank.
Why does it matter? Take care of people and they will take care of you. Be a little more free with your money and you will likely get stronger drinks, more help getting guys to buy you drinks, better food, more girls wanting to help you out, bouncers really looking out for you and djs really willing to play the songs you dance well to.
I'm a firm believer in what goes around comes around, and so I tip generously any time I can.
I swear next post I'll have a funny story or something.
$$$
Monday, June 13, 2011
You know what, sometimes it just might be. Not like STD fire, but more like razor burn fire.
Yeah, there's that.
There are so many different "tricks" that people have to make sure razor burn never shows up but when you work (and shave) every day for 7+ days in a row they just stop working sometimes. Especially when you are of fair and sensitive skin.
Men like to question us about it sometimes. Like we are less professional because we just can't seem to get our skin in control. I'd like to say this, Sir, try shaving your balls, dick and upper thighs every day for 7+ days while dancing, sweating (oh excuse me glistening) and letting everything rub against yourself and stretchy, tight garments and then we'll talk.
Yeah. That's all I got for now.
stay fresh.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Known for reliability
Welp, it's been a while since my last post, AGAIN. shoot. again having problems logging in after logging into my other blog and I can NOT have the two mix. No, no, no, soooo I took a break from here, but not from twitter just so you know!
But, I figured it all out! I'll use Firefox when doing this blog and Safari for my other, more family and future job appropriate, blog.
Now that that business is taken care of....
I've been trying a new club as of late. It's a good time and a really good decision. Turns out people don't like sulky strippers and well, I turn sulky when people don't pay me for my hard work. Don't act like it's not hard work, I have bruises and strains (of my cheek muscles from fake smiling so hard) to prove it.
I use to really enjoy this job. I have a secret (to my other life) exhibitionist hidden in here and shit, I love attention. I love when people tell me I'm hot and sexy and they want to fuck me. I love turning guys on, even if they will never be able to turn me on. Why? Maybe power, maybe self esteem issues branching from problems in junior high, who knows...
Point is, I use to like this job but lately I've been questioning it. Yes it can still be fun, yes the occasional customer can remind me of the fun times I had but at this one club things just felt like they were spiraling out of control and it felt like I would never make money again AND like I just bored the fuck out of the customers on my rack.
I'm not normally a big fan of myself but here's what I can say. I'm NOT boring on stage. I am also not boring in lap dances. I'm not boring. The only time I'm really boring, EVER, in life is when I feel super uncomfortable and get shy and second guess myself. I don't do that on stage anymore, ever. I've seen how the other girls dance and shit dude, I got a lot going for me. I'm going to throw modesty away for a bit and say I can give a hell of a sexy show. If you're male and have any interest in my body type I can most likely get you hard... with your clothes still on.
Haha, I guess that's really not saying much. There are plenty a girl in the strip club that have jacked faces, or jacked bodies and still make these club goers create tents with their pants. Really dude? THAT face doesn't make the boner go weak? Good thing I'm not a dude or many, many chicks wouldn't be getting money, OR getting laid.
But that's just me.
So right, new club... stories so far...
-a man stuck his finger in my belly button. I think he was pretending like it was my bottom fun hole (not to be mixed with my back bottom fun hole) which just made me sad for any woman he had been with. Sir, that's not going to make any girl cum.
-same man asked if I liked big or small... clearly referring to dick size. I, in my infinite wisdom, decided to tell him that it didn't matter as long as they knew how to use it... he proceeded to try and hump me in mid dance, in his sitting position. oh yes baby, that would give it to me right. hahahahaha no.
- it is a very small percentage of male that gives two shits about a pole trick. unless of course that's your whole shtick and you do things maybe 3 girls in the world do. We have one of those girls at my first club. She's fantastic and I'd throw down cash if I were a customer. as for me, well guys rather I be thisclose to them, as soon as I start climbing the pole they literally look everywhere else. no one cares.
-acting dumber than I am really makes for great conversation. the biggest pig (like misogynistic) i've met ever (that's been open with his ideas) was going on about how the pull out method works great and it's all good because he doesn't have any stds he's been tested and he'll just check out the downstairs before he puts it in and how no one watches women's sports and they aren't really sports because no one bets on the outcome and how he fucked some chick with his roommate (yup, two dude threesome) but then because she wouldn't let his friend put it in the back bottom fun hole she made him stop and just went to the room with this winner I now had the joy of talking to. She continued there to "force" him to hump her even though he claimed whiskey dick and THEN she took his money and his cell phone before he woke up the next day. He said more stuff about this chick like she should have been a team player and let it go in the back bottom fun hole if she was going to steal money blah blah blah but I'd already judged him by then and decided the girl definitely deserved the money she took.
- sometimes when people (guys) talk I wonder how in the world they EVER get a girl to sleep with them. Hot, ugly, decent, doesn't matter. These guys blow my mind with their idiocy. I literally laugh in their face...
-which reminds me... worked a day shift, it was going well for a bit then I got hungry and tired of a different girl (not a great dancer but with a nice, real, rack) getting so many effing dances. So this guy comes to my stage, and he has at least one indicator that he's not going to spend money but I smile anyways, because I guess that's one part of the job, and he starts with how the song is almost over and I'm going to leave the stage. His excuse for no money down. I told him I'd still be there so then he musters the energy or something to sit down, talks more, worries again about how the song is almost over, I say once again I'm not leaving the stage yet, he throws a couple ones down, I dance, take off layer one of the bottoms, clap my ass (yeah i said it!) and come back to give him attention when he says "you probably don't have time for friends do you." I didn't know if he was trying to say I was a snooty bitch so I said I hang out with friends a lot and I adopted a high pitched voice which apparently is less snooty and less off putting. He then said "well, I'm not trying to switch things up or anything but maybe we can hang out sometime." I laughed. That's it, I just laughed. Then I went back to the pole to climb and do a trick or two. I look over, he's still at the rack but looking at his cell phone. Homie, you're not popular or busy. You just asked a stripper to hang out after not even a full song. You threw $2. You're not rich, you have NO idea how to get a stripper's attention and you're a fucking moron.
I'm beginning to realize that I would love it if these guys really did believe all we were interested in was their money. I enjoy good conversation but man the more I work the more I just want them to pay me to dance and then have them gtfo.
If you want a prostitute go to a whore house, I'm not about to let you touch my boobs or lady luck for a mere $20. I'm DEFINITELY not going to touch yours for that little and you're fucking high as a kite in space if you think I'm going to put my gorgeous, clean mouth anywhere near the skin of your dick. Ever. Wait, that makes it sound like touching boobs or puss in boots could happen with enough money... we're talking in the high high hundred thousands with confirmation of no diseases before my mind would consider it. What? Don't look at me like that! We all have a price for certain things. I don't have a price for killing a creature human or anything bigger than a bug. I just won't do it.
Tangent alert.
Point being, high high hundred thousands basically right next door to a million could pay for just about everything I want to do in life right now. With half in savings. I've had people touch with far worse outcomes... no pay, NO DINNER, I paid for dinner... AND no grand finale. At least with the hundreds of thousands option if I didn't cum (let's be real I wouldn't) I'd have money to roll around it for a decade or more.
But seriously, no less than high hundreds of thousands. And since I don't think those kinds of customers exist because there are hookers who do it for way less, hell there are dancers who do it for way less, my nips and love button are safe from those wandering hands. Unfortunately I still subject her to dates wandering hands...
my last thought goes a little like this: gentlemen, it's not a button on a remote with dying batteries. If you push it harder and harder it does not make me happy, in fact it makes me really uncomfortable. Imagine me flat handing the tip of your dick over and over when you're really feeling good. Just hitting it. I feel like that might just hurt. Well, yeah, SO STOP IT! It's more like a rollerball on a mouse, be gentle, a little goes a long way.
and I'm out!
But, I figured it all out! I'll use Firefox when doing this blog and Safari for my other, more family and future job appropriate, blog.
Now that that business is taken care of....
I've been trying a new club as of late. It's a good time and a really good decision. Turns out people don't like sulky strippers and well, I turn sulky when people don't pay me for my hard work. Don't act like it's not hard work, I have bruises and strains (of my cheek muscles from fake smiling so hard) to prove it.
I use to really enjoy this job. I have a secret (to my other life) exhibitionist hidden in here and shit, I love attention. I love when people tell me I'm hot and sexy and they want to fuck me. I love turning guys on, even if they will never be able to turn me on. Why? Maybe power, maybe self esteem issues branching from problems in junior high, who knows...
Point is, I use to like this job but lately I've been questioning it. Yes it can still be fun, yes the occasional customer can remind me of the fun times I had but at this one club things just felt like they were spiraling out of control and it felt like I would never make money again AND like I just bored the fuck out of the customers on my rack.
I'm not normally a big fan of myself but here's what I can say. I'm NOT boring on stage. I am also not boring in lap dances. I'm not boring. The only time I'm really boring, EVER, in life is when I feel super uncomfortable and get shy and second guess myself. I don't do that on stage anymore, ever. I've seen how the other girls dance and shit dude, I got a lot going for me. I'm going to throw modesty away for a bit and say I can give a hell of a sexy show. If you're male and have any interest in my body type I can most likely get you hard... with your clothes still on.
Haha, I guess that's really not saying much. There are plenty a girl in the strip club that have jacked faces, or jacked bodies and still make these club goers create tents with their pants. Really dude? THAT face doesn't make the boner go weak? Good thing I'm not a dude or many, many chicks wouldn't be getting money, OR getting laid.
But that's just me.
So right, new club... stories so far...
-a man stuck his finger in my belly button. I think he was pretending like it was my bottom fun hole (not to be mixed with my back bottom fun hole) which just made me sad for any woman he had been with. Sir, that's not going to make any girl cum.
-same man asked if I liked big or small... clearly referring to dick size. I, in my infinite wisdom, decided to tell him that it didn't matter as long as they knew how to use it... he proceeded to try and hump me in mid dance, in his sitting position. oh yes baby, that would give it to me right. hahahahaha no.
- it is a very small percentage of male that gives two shits about a pole trick. unless of course that's your whole shtick and you do things maybe 3 girls in the world do. We have one of those girls at my first club. She's fantastic and I'd throw down cash if I were a customer. as for me, well guys rather I be thisclose to them, as soon as I start climbing the pole they literally look everywhere else. no one cares.
-acting dumber than I am really makes for great conversation. the biggest pig (like misogynistic) i've met ever (that's been open with his ideas) was going on about how the pull out method works great and it's all good because he doesn't have any stds he's been tested and he'll just check out the downstairs before he puts it in and how no one watches women's sports and they aren't really sports because no one bets on the outcome and how he fucked some chick with his roommate (yup, two dude threesome) but then because she wouldn't let his friend put it in the back bottom fun hole she made him stop and just went to the room with this winner I now had the joy of talking to. She continued there to "force" him to hump her even though he claimed whiskey dick and THEN she took his money and his cell phone before he woke up the next day. He said more stuff about this chick like she should have been a team player and let it go in the back bottom fun hole if she was going to steal money blah blah blah but I'd already judged him by then and decided the girl definitely deserved the money she took.
- sometimes when people (guys) talk I wonder how in the world they EVER get a girl to sleep with them. Hot, ugly, decent, doesn't matter. These guys blow my mind with their idiocy. I literally laugh in their face...
-which reminds me... worked a day shift, it was going well for a bit then I got hungry and tired of a different girl (not a great dancer but with a nice, real, rack) getting so many effing dances. So this guy comes to my stage, and he has at least one indicator that he's not going to spend money but I smile anyways, because I guess that's one part of the job, and he starts with how the song is almost over and I'm going to leave the stage. His excuse for no money down. I told him I'd still be there so then he musters the energy or something to sit down, talks more, worries again about how the song is almost over, I say once again I'm not leaving the stage yet, he throws a couple ones down, I dance, take off layer one of the bottoms, clap my ass (yeah i said it!) and come back to give him attention when he says "you probably don't have time for friends do you." I didn't know if he was trying to say I was a snooty bitch so I said I hang out with friends a lot and I adopted a high pitched voice which apparently is less snooty and less off putting. He then said "well, I'm not trying to switch things up or anything but maybe we can hang out sometime." I laughed. That's it, I just laughed. Then I went back to the pole to climb and do a trick or two. I look over, he's still at the rack but looking at his cell phone. Homie, you're not popular or busy. You just asked a stripper to hang out after not even a full song. You threw $2. You're not rich, you have NO idea how to get a stripper's attention and you're a fucking moron.
I'm beginning to realize that I would love it if these guys really did believe all we were interested in was their money. I enjoy good conversation but man the more I work the more I just want them to pay me to dance and then have them gtfo.
If you want a prostitute go to a whore house, I'm not about to let you touch my boobs or lady luck for a mere $20. I'm DEFINITELY not going to touch yours for that little and you're fucking high as a kite in space if you think I'm going to put my gorgeous, clean mouth anywhere near the skin of your dick. Ever. Wait, that makes it sound like touching boobs or puss in boots could happen with enough money... we're talking in the high high hundred thousands with confirmation of no diseases before my mind would consider it. What? Don't look at me like that! We all have a price for certain things. I don't have a price for killing a creature human or anything bigger than a bug. I just won't do it.
Tangent alert.
Point being, high high hundred thousands basically right next door to a million could pay for just about everything I want to do in life right now. With half in savings. I've had people touch with far worse outcomes... no pay, NO DINNER, I paid for dinner... AND no grand finale. At least with the hundreds of thousands option if I didn't cum (let's be real I wouldn't) I'd have money to roll around it for a decade or more.
But seriously, no less than high hundreds of thousands. And since I don't think those kinds of customers exist because there are hookers who do it for way less, hell there are dancers who do it for way less, my nips and love button are safe from those wandering hands. Unfortunately I still subject her to dates wandering hands...
my last thought goes a little like this: gentlemen, it's not a button on a remote with dying batteries. If you push it harder and harder it does not make me happy, in fact it makes me really uncomfortable. Imagine me flat handing the tip of your dick over and over when you're really feeling good. Just hitting it. I feel like that might just hurt. Well, yeah, SO STOP IT! It's more like a rollerball on a mouse, be gentle, a little goes a long way.
and I'm out!
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