So, money wise I've had some pretty bad nights. While this one was super bad it wasn't the lowest of the low. BUT to make up for that aspect of supreme suckage there were a couple assholes tonight that just really, really brought the night down real well.
There was the normal, bunch of people there but few sitting at the rack or paying.
There were the ones trying to buy drinks but not lap dances...
There was the girl with huge fake looking boobs on the other stage while I'm on the back one so everyone just goes to her...
There was the girl up before me in the school girl outfit, pigtails curled and all...
There was that.
THEN, it's getting close to the last stage of the night and the first supreme-o douche comes up to me and touches my tattoo (from behind so he startles me) and says, "hey nice piece" or something stupid like that, I say thanks and "do you want a dance" because I'm no longer in the mood to bullshit with anyone by this point. Mama needs some monies. He says no he doesn't do dances, I ask why not considering he's in a strip club. (generally when people are nice and not douchy I don't challenge them on their not getting dances but I could tell that this dude was someone that felt like he didn't NEED to pay for pussy or something stupid like that) He says his friend brought him there, and i ask if his friend might want a dance, he says probably not. I say, okay whatever and go back to talking to two girls that had been there with one of them's boyfriend the whole night. Awesome chicks, and her boyfriend was rad too, whatever not the point.
(I would totally hit on the boyfriend if he wasn't with said girl... in fact did once before I knew he had a girl. dreams crushed, see, it happens to us too)
So then supreme-o was like, okay well I was just trying to say nice work but I'm not getting dances, I'm not a trick or anything... and that's where I got real pissed. I look at him and say, excuse me? A trick? He's like yeah, you know, I'm not stupid or nothin. I'm just trying to tell you that you have nice work but if you're gonna be a bitch about it.... Sometimes I let shit like that slide but I was not in the mood and so I'm like ALRIGHT FINE! and walk over to my awesome bouncer and say, Hey, We have a reaaaal asshole in here right now. Guy comes up to my bouncer too and says, "yeah, I'm an asshole... and I'm gonna drink my beer and then leave!" To which I reply, "awe shucks, I might cry." and walk away. He either left before his beer was finish or kept talking shit because a minute or two later the bouncer came by and said he was gone.
I wish that was the only asshole of the night...
NOPE!
the second one was sitting at my stage for the last song of the night and is yelling "WOOOOOO" every once in a while and then pretends to lick my nipple (and gets really close to me) when I am laying on the rack in front of him... I tell him no, he says he's just playin he wouldn't actually do that... but I'd like it, wouldn't I. So the I dance around other people at the rack (the only rack of the night that had more than 2 people I swear) and he leaves and then comes back at the end of my last song after some other people had just come up and I was talking to them and the song ends and I'm picking up my money, the one dollar he put down for the second song and he says
"that wasn't worth it, I put a dollar down and didn't see nothin."
I look at him, try to think of the best thing to say along the lines of, POS you're lucky I'm even looking at you drunk mother fucker but can't really think of anything and as I'm getting more dollars from other people he says, "whatever, you had a nice butt but nothin else."
I wish I was better with words or faster on my feet when I get overcome with rage.
This twerp is telling ME that I'm not that great to look at. Basically insulting my boobs I guess... I dunno. And that I wasn't worth the dollar he put down.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!
Now, I love to think I'm pretty modest MOST of the time but that guy pissed me off and so as I was stewing in my anger I looked at him and said, Hey, you're fuckin lucky the night's over and you're broke. I'd get fired for doing what I want to do to you."
He looks at me PISSED at this point and says HEY! I got business in the front and party in the back!
When he started that little gem I thought he was going to say he owned a business but no, it was better than that.
So I asked him what exactly that did for me...
He went raving on about how much of a bitch I was and how I wasn't good looking anyway and lallalala as a different guy comes up to get a dance. As I'm giving the other guy a dance (and trying to keep his hands away from my crotch and boobs) I could hear supreme-o #2 through that flimsy curtain and I wanted so badly to tell the guy that was getting a dance to forget it and run out there with my heal and talk some more shit, probably threaten him, but I tried to be responsible and make, oh... maybe $50 for the night.
Now that some of the adrenaline is out of my system I really just want to cry. There you have it folks, some of the realities of being a fucking stripper.
Best part, I could get fired for that. Yup, ME. I could get fired because I said something to that asshole.
And let's just go back to the first one of the night saying he wasn't a trick. Ummm, what? I'm not going to fuck you back there you piece of shit. I'm not a prostitute.
If I had made more than minimum wage for taking of my clothes tonight and pretending guys were interesting maybe I wouldn't have gotten so mad. But minimum wage isn't fair for anyone, much less people who get to hear others opinions about sensitive subjects.
My pasta's ready though, so I have to go.
-D
OH P.S. As I was driving away I saw shit head number 2 in the taco bell parking lot starting some shit AND I saw him get hit in the face twice. Unfortunately he didn't get hit enough, he was still standing by the time the other guy left. Not because the puncher was bad, he threw two good hits, but because the girls in the car were telling the puncher to leave it be and get out of there.
okay the end
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