Dante's Sinferno!

As you may or may not know I am called upon from time to time to be a go-go at Dante's Sinferno. It is the bestest job ever. I cream my panties every time I get the text asking if I can work a Sunday. I keep my Sunday's open for this shit. I don't mess around.

Why is it so amazing? Well, I guess I'll give a short background. I love dancing. Not stripping, dancing. like going to a club and making my booty shake. It was the one thing I snuck out or lied for when I was in high school. Boys, psh, no. Wellll... I guess we would sometimes sleep at this one house where all the boys were in one room and my friend and I were in the other after a night of dancing out at some young adult night club. 16+ whatever. Point is, I would say I was staying at a friend's house and we would sometimes drive an hour north from where we lived to go dancing on a friday or saturday night.
That's how dedicated I am to going out and getting sweaty.

Another factoid... and possibly the reason being a stripper (and a go-go) made sense: I don't dance WITH people. I very rarely let guys come up and cock bump my from behind (or in front), I am known by all of my dancing ladies (from high school and college) to be the ultimate bitch of the group. There was no one that shut down as many guys as me. Not because they weren't cute, some of them were, but because when I go out dancing, I want to DANCE. I thought about making a shirt that said "I dance by myself" on the front and "Don't block the view" right about my ass on the back. Dedicated. Still need that shirt...

Anywho, wrap up this background... the moment I saw the Go-Gos at Sinferno a few years back I just about died. I wanted to be up there so bad but I had this self doubt going and this crush on this boy who was crushing on the go-gos and it was messy and whatever. But, fast forward to recent times and one of the fine go-gos and I are facebook friends and we chat it up and I mention my admiration of the go-go world and how I want to do it and she hooks it up! She tells her friend who I'm going to call the Sexy Headmaster, and bim bam boom I get set up with a night!

I was nervous as fuck that first night but it all worked out and now it's my favoritest thing EVER. I come home on cloud 69 after working a Dante's shift.

Tonight was one of those awesome nights. Almost better than a boyfriend. Almost, different, same level of a perfect boyfriend... tangent done.

I took picture to document. Only the last one really shows any of me. Sorry but you're welcome at the same time.

Enjoy.

 

Gettin ready

This is true getting ready style. I don't even put these on for work anymore!

Had to glue part of my shoe back together. The damage wasn't nearly as bad as I thought.

This time I took the bus to work. Not because I wanted to smell the lovely mix of crack and piss but because my bank that is doing my car loan is a jackass and dragging their feet with something so my tags aren't exactly up to date and I don't want my poor car to be locked up. So yeah.

Don't worry, I sat on them. I now have scabies and 5 other unknown diseases... 

Just kidding I didn't sit on them. Gross, and I don't have any of those diseases.

Waiting for the bus

Creepy bus picture

 

Bitch you ain't no Barbie, I see you work at Arby's.  

Tried to get the view but the phone just wasn't having it. It was shortly after this picture that I realized how pleasurable it would have been if my hood was pierced. Seriously, that bus vibrates like no other, that would have made the smell at least a tiny bit worth it.

Summer construction

Guess I'll do some more makeup. whyyy not!

 

put it in your mouth...suck the sucker... 

Awesome sign.

My garter to hold my tips and my sweat rag. Leopard bitch.

Not bad for a job that doesn't feel like a job! Take THAT bad nights at my real job. shiiiiit.

Left behind nipple tape. Not mine. But someone hot's.

Okay, so... The night went a little different than usual. There weren't as many acts on the main stage which meant longer sets for us on the catwalk. It was hot, not as hot as it could have been but still hot and sometimes the sets were so much longer than we were use to that we were dying. Some of us broke into the chicken dance, others broke into jazzercise moves at some point. There also wasn't as much tipping as we like but hey, we still get paid a little bit.

Remembering the money picture you are probably thinking I'm full of shit and let me just tell you now, the ones were the only tips I made on catwalk... the rest was paid to me by the house AND because of the lap dances people requested...

At Dante's we open the stage to lap dances from a Go-Go toward the end of the night when all of the scheduled stage acts are done. We also do amateur hour. That is another story, we'll stick with the lap dances. 

So, usually birthday girls or boys or bachelors or randoms get pulled or pushed on stage because their friend buys them a lap dance. I was requested THREE times tonight! I was a staaaaar. :) 

That's how I made more money tonight. Stoked. So stoked. Thought people weren't really enjoying my catwalk set but it turns out they were... rad. Thumbs up, patting myself on the back here. Yeah.

One thing about stage lap dances... awkward. Don't worry, I still give good dance, but it's a tad awkward for the person getting the dance, AND as the performer we have to make sure we are doing the dance for the person in the chair AND his/her friends in the audience. It's definitely more of a performance than the dances I do day to day at the "real" job.

OH YEAH! This wouldn't be a post by me if I didn't talk about a crazy... so here it goes.

I was standing by the photobooth because one of the bachelors I had danced for wanted photobooth pictures... i'm almost regretting that now because I don't want his future wife to ever find me and be upset, just being nice and I can't resist photobooths really. 

But the groom to be is not the story, this random comes up to me while we are waiting at the photobooth and demands an answer to his question of "you work here right!"

I nod, say yes and try to be nice though this guy is clearly drunk and tryin to holla. I said it.

He then starts to tell me about this sweater he lost over in the corner like it's my fucking job to know where it is. I look at him and tell him I have no idea about his sweater and turn back to groom to be. This kid then goes to the tables behind me and moves them by kinda throwing them trying to look for said sweater, I shake my head and once again pay attention to groom and friends.

Fast forward a few minutes, pictures done and about to go down to the basement to get ready to get a donut and go home. Sweater boy stops me again, says "Hey, D, I'm in the industry you know, but uh my sweater, it was over there..."

I cut him off by this point because I just want a fucking donut.

I look at him, tell him I have no clue where his sweater is, that's not my job, I just dance there.

He continues with his talking saying how I know the other dancers and I know all the bouncers lalala sweater blah blah blah...

I cut him off again telling him I don't really and turn and walk off while he's still mid complaint.

He yells down the stairs, "thanks for keepin it real!" 

and I pick up a tad of sarcasm so I yell back

"no problem dude"

I get into the dressing area and one of my lovely coworkers is busting up laughing at my response to the dude. It may not seem like much typed out but there was a lot of attitude in my words the second time he tried to holla slash find his sweater. 

Like that's my fucking problem that you can't keep tabs on your sweater. You left it in a corner and walked away in a packed bar. What the fuck do you think is going to happen to it? It's probably one of those expensive sweaters huh, that you spent your whole Burger King paycheck on to look fly to the ladies so they'll believe you when you say you're part of the industry. Do I look like I give a flying fuck? I do? Shit, my bad. Let me change that facial expression.

All's well that ends well though. I left him without his sweater, we made fun of the dude in the basement and then I went to Voodoo Doughnut and got myself an Ol' Dirty Bastard.

Outside Voodoo

 

The sign

and wait for it

Glitter shot!!!! You're welcome!

Yes I kinda pushed them together a bit. Judge me why don't you! 

-D

ps i hate firefox, it posted this the first time without the last picture. lame.