Anyway, this classy citizen tweets things girls say around him or her (I'm guessing because of the quotation marks) and adds other things in here and there spouting their obvious sexual frustration with the female gender.
I'm guessing the person responsible is a dude. If the person writing these things is, in fact, another girl we have a whole extra issue to go into. Girl on girl hate. But I'll save that for later, for now let's just stick with the idea that this person is male.
To get started I'll copy and paste some of the gems and then respond. Sound like fun? Yeah, I think so.
GirlsAreRetards Girls Are Retards
That bitch that keeps texting you even though you haven't responded to her in weeks.
Dear GirlsAreRetards...
Grow some balls you big pussy piece of shit. Tell her you aren't interested if her constant texting is bothering. Be a man and admit that you're a tool and only wanted to fuck her once and then go off to someone else. This girl isn't dumb because she keeps texting, she's dumb because she was interested in you in the first place.
Sincerely,
You're a pussy
GirlsAreRetards Girls Are Retards
Why do guys have to put the toilet seat down after a piss? Equal rights my ass.
Dear GAR,
Fine, why do we have to hide our used tampons or flush the toilet after we shit. Yes, dickwad, we do happen to shit. We don't magically make the waste in our bodies disappear into thin air. Basic Biology, read a fucking book. Anyway, wrapping up unpleasant looking things, flushing AND yes, putting down the toilet seat are all curteous things for decent human beings to do.
It's a good thing you don't personally know me, I expect you to put both the seat and the lid down. Turns out when you flush those lovely human waste disposals, they shoot germs all over anything close. Yeah, like those "clean" towels you dry yourself off with after a shower, or that toothbrush you use to clean your filthy fucking mouth. Shit particles all over those seemingly clean things. You're brushing your teeth with your, and your girlfriend's, and your roommate's and your guest's shit. You're also rubbing those particles all over your body. Think about that one real good.
It's not about equal rights, it's about courtesy.
Sincerely,
You're Brushing Your Teeth With Shit
GirlsAreRetards Girls Are Retards
Why do girls call other girls baby girl? You're the same fucking age idiot.
Dear GAR,
You can't possibly think that the girls are being literal with the term baby. I mean, I know you're fucking stupid but that's pushing it. Might I also add that men have been calling women "baby" and "baby girl" for quite a while now. Pretty sure the ladies didn't start that one. We just borrowed it from you.
Now, if you were to ask why we call each other bitch and slut and skank as terms of endearment I might agree with you.
Sincerely,
Please get smarter
GirlsAreRetards Girls Are Retards
RT if you'd prefer to date a girl who's never seen the inside of a tour bus.
Dear GAR,
While I agree with the sentiment that this is based off of, I will say that it is possible to have seen the inside of a tour bus (as a female) and not ended up in a bunk on their back (or all fours). Some of us keep things a little more classy and actually mean it when we say we're selective about the dick we let near our vagina (or mouth or hand).
Also, I would like to say that some of those girls who've seen the inside of a tour bus are actually touring. Like, in the band, like they have talent. Should I say I don't want to date a guy that's been in a girl's tour van?
Sincerely,
Oh Please
GirlsAreRetards Girls Are Retards
"why can't I wanna have sex all the time like guys do?" Because you're a girl, have a little self respect. Unless you want to be a guy?
"why can't I wanna have sex all the time like guys do?" Because you're a girl, have a little self respect. Unless you want to be a guy?
Dear GAR,
You've reached a real low with this tweet. I can't decide if you are saying guys have no self respect and that's why they can have sex all the time or if you're saying only guys can have sex all the time and still have self respect.
My first real question to all of this is... WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU SLEEPING WITH? Is it other dudes? Or are you intentionally fucking girls with no self respect in order to have sex all the time. Because if dudes are having sex all the time and self respecting girls aren't allowed to, then the guys are either having sex with other guys or with girls they have decided have no self respect. If the latter is the option you think is best then you are the cause of all the problems you tweet about.
Congratulations of being the worlds most disease infested prick.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying ladies should go out and throw their cat around at any person with something dangling between their legs. That's not my style either. But if you're saying the ones who do can't possibly respect themselves than neither can the dudes.
And as long as we are on the subject of self respect... what about dick respect. Yeah, show your dick some respect! Especially the ones that fuck all the time. It's called a condom. I don't care if it doesn't feel as good. It feels a whole lot better than throbbing diseases, painful urination, puss, red oozing sores, warts, and rejection from females in the future. It feels better than finding a woman you actually enjoy (and who for some god awful reason actually enjoys you too) and then having to tell her you're going to possibly subject her to such infections and diseases every time you have sex. Let's take that one step further, because you are going to have the possibility of passing some of these things on to her you are also going to have the possibility of passing these things on to your future child. High five Dad. Did that one sexual experience without a condom actually feel better than the lifetime of physical and mental suffering?
Sincerely,
Fuck self respect, start with dick respect
GirlsAreRetards Girls Are Retards
I know we just started dating, but I just don't understand what the probem is with me adding all of your hot guy friends on Facebook!?
I know we just started dating, but I just don't understand what the probem is with me adding all of your hot guy friends on Facebook!?
GirlsAreRetards Girls Are Retards
"Omg why is it such a big deal that I still have pics of me and my ex making out on Facebook?"
"Omg why is it such a big deal that I still have pics of me and my ex making out on Facebook?"
Dear GAR,
I'm not even going to separate my response for these... here it goes: Maybe you shouldn't go for those girls. Also, make sure your friends (the dudes she adds on facebook) know that friends come before pussy. Or maybe they already know that if you are fucking each other... Or wait, did you get her from one of your other friends?
Sincerely,
Don't be dumb
GirlsAreRetards Girls Are Retards
We don't want your fucking teeth anywhere near our dicks. Keep them tucked away.
We don't want your fucking teeth anywhere near our dicks. Keep them tucked away.
Dear GAR,
This is probably my favorite. Here's why... many more girls know to keep their teeth away from the dick (unless specifically asked) than guys know where the clitoris is... maybe that's a little harsh. Okay, more ladies know not to put teeth in a blow job than guys know how to handle a clit at all.
Most of us are just (kind of) lucky when they find it or even know what it is.
Past that, we have to worry about a little thing I like to call The Gamer. Definitely my favorite to talk shit about but the worst (oh wait, no, flicking the clit with your fingers is the worse... or biting) to have happen.
It goes a little like this... find clit, push it in fast and forcefully like a button on a remote that's losing it's batteries. You know the situation. The batteries are obviously dying but you just don't want to get up to get new ones or even change the channel. Or, more like it's name... pushing on it like you're trying to get the combo before the computer character kicks your ass. Konami Code anyone?
How bout this over excited gamer, how would you like it if I took your dick, held it in one hand so the tip was just a little above my pointer finger and thumb and then hit it with the open palm of my other hand in a manner that would resemble getting ketchup out of a glass bottle?
Sound exciting and full of pleasure? Yeah, exactly. No fucking way. Don't up up down down left right left right B A my fucking clit asshole.
Sincerely,
Get the Girl Off First
I would just like to finish up this post with some extra thoughts not covered yet...
Maybe you attract such dumb girls because you are a lousy human being. Maybe you have really poor judgment. Maybe you were a real dick to a sweet, smart and self respecting girl and now karma is hitting you up ten fold.
Maybe you go to the wrong places expecting to meet smart people. I wouldn't go to a Jersey Shore party expecting to have a decent conversation. I wouldn't go to a meeting full of extreme Conservatives and expect to have a civilized conversation about abortion and the pro choice movement.
If you're going to bars that have stripper poles for the female customers then you're probably in the wrong place. If you're going to a Girls Gone Wild party (is there such thing?) then you're probably looking for quality in the wrong place.
Maybe you're the douche bag (attractive or not) that expects his smokin hot girlfriend to stick around while he demands blow jobs and when you do have sex, you come first, roll over and passe out. Maybe there's a reason she's hitting up your hot friends, maybe they know how to eat pussy like they give a damn.
Until next time
-D
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