Loosen Up

Alright, here it is... a big pet peeve of mine (some might say one of many) that happens in and outside of the club.

You ready?

People telling me to loosen up.

Tonight a customer I have had similar interactions with before asked me if I was drinking to which I said no and he looked bummed and said I should drink some time, you know, so I could loosen up.

Sir, here's what the real problem is. I won't kiss you in the back room. I'll give you a hug and give you a dance and grind on your denim covered dick but I will not kiss you and that's what you want. That's what you mean by loosen up, you want me to do what you want.

First, gross.
Dude, you're mouth is decaying like a body in stagnant water with every word we speak.

Second, you're creepy.

Third, kissing is really personal. I don't kiss people I am not attracted to. I don't stay kissing people I'm no longer attracted to even if I think I could get something out of them if I did. I just don't do it. Seriously? A kiss?

Ladies of the night won't kiss you and you still have to pay to fuck them. (that counts as fourth)

Fifth... you're older than my dad.

Sixth, this is a strip club, I take off some clothes, do a little dance, make you feel good and you give me money. That's how it goes. Easy peesy, give me money.

Seventh... I'M GETTING NAKED FOR YOUR CREEPY ASS FOR LESS THAN A HUNDRED DOLLARS. BOW DOWN.
I think as far as the norms go, that's pretty loosened up. Pretty fair, in fact, pretty much way better than fair. In the real world I would NEVER talk to you, never give you a hug, NEVER sit on your lap, None of it. Be happy with what you get for so cheap. Dates cost more than $20 and usually end with less touching than the 3-5 min lap dance...So fuck off. I rather show my titties every time I win some change on Kitty Glitter video lottery. Which I did.

This isn't the first time this lame ass has said something like this to me. The first night we really met he was pontificating on the possible reasons I don't make as much money as some of the other girls.

Now, you, dear readers of this blog and twitter, know I'm a poor stripper, but this mother fucker has no idea. No following twitter, no reading this blog, no talking to me before this and here he is insulting me by telling me basically that he thinks I'm not good at what I do and should really try some other tactics like the other girls.

Him: I'll get another dance if I can get a kiss...
Me: (shyly and sweetly) No hun, no kisses
Him: Oh well, I guess if you're not comfortable, I guess there has to be the right chemistry. I mean other girls kiss me back here...
Me: That's good, I just can't. (AND FUCKING WON'T GROSS HEAD!)
Him: Yeah, you know maybe it's because you don't drink, see the other girls drink and get all friendly and more touchy feely and that's why they make more money.

No, they're hos and that's not what the actual job description is. By law I am suppose to dance, take my clothes off and dance on top of you but I am not suppose to grind directly on your clothed dick (and definitely not your revealed dick), nor am I suppose to let you touch, anything, ever.
It's a race to the bottom here and I refuse to go down to level of cheap prostitute in stripper clothing because I'm not making as much as those "other girls."

 Every time someone tells me to loosen up it's because they themselves are doing something wrong. They are being rude, or insulting or they want more from me than they deserve. Unless we're talking about my parents at family dinner. No, they're being insulting too.

Loosen up?

Fuck you.

Loosen up your asshole and get fucked.

Love,
D